Building Trust

That title is actually supposed to be a joke.  My struggles staying current on this blog result in my saying I'm going to mend my ways....and then I don't.  Not a good trust builder.  But something has changed - really!  

In December, exactly 50 years ago, I had a severe car accident.  We (my sister Vivian and my very good friend Cheri) were t-boned.  The sun was in the guy's eyes.  I went there to check that out, and it is very likely the sun was in his eyes (that's a little funny).

Anyhow, I broke 15 bones and collapsed a lung.  I was supposed to die, but I didn't.  I don't know why I like saying that.  Maybe it's because it wasn't my first brush with death, and I was thinking how ironic it is that I'm still here.  I don't question why I'm here anymore.

My father's minister was called in (I have no recollection) and reported back to my father that "She's going to be just fine; she's in there fighting like a Green Bay Backer."  I don't need no stinkin' last rites 😇

Turns out, I was fighting the nurses, and they couldn't give me an intravenous in my arms, so they used my ankles and strapped my arms and legs down.  Now, as a victim of sexual abuse, that's not helpful.  Looking back, I understand my rage.

So the point of all this is:  My family was amazingly supportive as I had to move out of my apartment while they doted on me.  After a few weeks - I think - my memory around the accident has gaps - I was standing in church, looking out the window and asking God why He (I was Presbyterian at the time) wouldn't let me die?  And I had an overwhelming sense that God had something He needed me to do.  So I started my healing process in January of 1976.

I began to feel a sense of worthiness and value that had eluded me all my life.  And within a few months, I was carrying myself differently.  And that's when Dennis and I met, and I captured him using sexual advances - it was magical.  Dennis and I would write letters to each other for a few months.  He would put Black Tie on his envelopes because I loved the smell of it on him; I would be so excited to go to the post office.  I moved to Rochester in the summer...and the rest is history. 

So that was 50 years ago.  I'm 71 years old.  This has been an awesome year of finding out who I am, why I'm here, and what I need to adjust to take on my Calling.  

My Calling is to Channel Peace.  To do that, I have to BE at Peace.  It's actually very nice for me to commit time to making sure I'm right with my Spirit before I greet the world.  Win-win.

So that's all for now.  Nice chatting with you.