I spent a lot of time integrating the vision of the Shepherd lovingly "guiding" me toward the safety of "the flock." Really good feeling. And while I was hanging out with the flock, I was visited by the vision of being trapped in a locked bathroom by a perpetrator who left me with a wide array of feelings that appear to be cellular: terror, betrayal, distrust, hopelessness, rage, defeat. And I so want to disconnect from those senses. I guess recognizing them is the first step. Their existence is like having thick, heavy manacles attached to my ankles. Unable to fly. Stuck. Afraid. I'm grateful for the flock for letting me share these remembrances and having compassion for my struggle with them.
And I wonder if, once the manacles have been removed (and I KNOW that they will), will I even know how to fly?
So, I'm peeking out of the flock and it occurs to me that the Shepherd's rod and staff also have another purpose. And as "the wolf" appears, I see the Shepherd raise his rod and staff and beat the living crap out of the wolf, who has no business being anywhere near His precious flock, and scampers away, tail between his legs, never to return again. Because the Shepherd's got my back. Okay, maybe that's not how it goes, but it sure is helping me heal. So let me have that vision for a while.
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