Soul Connections by Judith Pauly

Another highlight of my San Diego trip last week was being able to sit with Judith Pauly, a leader in the Woman Within International community, for a "Soul Connection" process. Judith created the "Soul Connection" process to help men and women reach a higher ground and experience a new level in forgiveness. Judith believes that forgiveness is the key to freedom (she'll be here at the end of July to offer a workshop called "It's All About the 'F' Words; Moving from Fear to Faith to Forgiveness to Freedom"). I know I'll be there!

What I like is that she's really funny. Hey, if you're going to have to talk about depressing things like abuse, abandonment, trauma, etc., shouldn't there be some room for a big belly laugh?!

I always thought I had forgiven those in my life who were connected to the things in my life I would rather had not happened to me. The time with Judith gently revealed to me resentments I still held and the fears connected to those resentments. More importantly, I was given an opportunity to transform those fears into useful tools for walking through life with confidence and faith.

So what does this have to do with Susan B. and Frederick Douglass? Well, I regularly find myself in a place of being a White woman in a primarily Black environment. My husband is Black; my kids and my grandson are mixed; since leaving my parents' home, I have always worked for an agency connected to minorities and inequality; in New Jersey as part of the Somerset Youth Federation; in Rochester as James McCuller's secretary at Action for a Better Community, Inc.; and today as a Director of Youth and Family Services at SWAN (SouthWest Area Neighborhood Association, Inc.) where I have been for over 10 years. I'm guessing that, especially in the 1800's, it wasn't always a very easy place for a White woman and a Black man to get together to share their thoughts, ambitions and visions.

It's sad that even centuries later, there are still resentments and suspicion surrounding Black/White relationships (even merely social or business relationships). I am finding that it takes a lot of personal excavation, self awareness, and support to walk in integrity and forgiveness when the path gets bumpy. I'm glad I have strong women like Judith in my life; and I'm glad there's a larger-than-life statue in my neighborhood that promotes and celebrates the relationship of a powerful White woman and a powerful Black man and their life-changing contributions to the human race.

(Note: For more info on Judith Pauly, go to www.paulysoulstuff.com.)